the universe gives us moments that measure our humanity
i do believe this.
today i ran into the person who introduced me to meth for a second time.
and my dungeon shook.
i thought i would try to kill him
but i didn’t
on my bike
i cried writing this into my journal
and i will probably cry when my mind finds this thought later on.
And it maybe a surprise to everyone but me that the majority of those tears were not because of anger or being mad that i allowed him and that into my life. they were empathy. i feared for what the world has done/ and will try to do to us. two queer black men.
all he is responsible for is his life- not my choices.
and i wanted to hug him
would’ve hugged him if i thought it was safe to and if i wasnt so scared.
there is things i want- i want to build better relations with men. i want to move from a place of compassion. i want to genuinely be excited. and i will.
i think today- through the tears i did find something more productive than anger.